by Dr. Petra Zebroff, Relationship Counsellor and Sex Therapist

 

Intense, pleasurable and delightfully messy … female ejaculation has been documented as far back as 300 BC. Described as ‘an emission of fluid from the urethra during a woman’s orgasm’, researchers have found that between 10% – 69% of women do ejaculate.  Experts argue that even more women than that may be ejaculating without knowing it. The obvious ‘gushing’ shown in adult movies may not be the way most women ejaculate. Instead, extra fluid could be ‘seeping’ from the urethra during passionate moments — being missed or mistaken for a male lover’s ejaculate or vaginal lubrication. See sexual anatomy of female ejaculation.

Female Ejaculation Sexual AnatomyWomen may hesitate to try ejaculating, or hold back from letting it happen naturally, believing it to be urine or embarrassing in front of a partner. When analyzed, the ejaculate was NOT URINE, but prostatic fluid emitted by from glands near the urethra and is remarkably similar to male ejaculate (without the semen). Some research has found like male ejaculate, it contains some amount of urine. More research is done on this precious fluid every year.  More to come.

Most who ejaculate freely swear by it, describing it with enthusiasm as a feeling of “letting go”, “liberating” and “intensely pleasurable.” Some describe it is feels great but not like an orgasm.

While all women are built anatomically for ejaculation it is primarily a learned skill.  Everyone can learn to ejaculate. You might have to take the time to hone your technique.

What female ejaculation feels like:  Read real women’s experiences of female ejaculation.

 

 STEP 1: FEMALE EJACULATE PREPARATION: (don’t skip this part!)

  • Void your bladder. While ejaculate is not urine, emptying your bladder before you start will erase any concern that you are urinating when you do ejaculate.
  • Lay down a towel. Female ejaculation can be messy and with this simple act you can relax and alleviate concern about the fate of your favorite sheets.
  • A strong pelvic PC muscle and an awareness to your PC muscles is an important part of female ejaculation. Do your kegels!
  • Try it on your own first. Concern over what a partner thinks can discourage the ‘letting go’ necessary for this amazing endeavor.

STEP 2: BUILD FEMALE EJACULATE:

It is unlikely you will be able ejaculate without arousal. Your body (and mind) need to be prepared. Start building ejaculate with the following techniques:

  1. Get aroused. Imagine your most sexy thoughts, use your most beloved toys, and incorporate a favorite fantasy, porn or erotica to get your juices flowing.
  2. G-Spot Stimulation:
    • Use a finger to find and start exploring your G-Spot.
    • Use firm circular movements to start.
    • Move to a dildo/vibrator that is curved if you want more leverage.
  3. Occasionally bear down, as if you have to pee (don’t worry it is unlikely).
  4. Repeat this several times (30 min +). Relax, then push, all the while stimulating your G-Spot.  This action will help build up the ejaculate.

STEP 3: Female Ejaculate: EJACULATING:

  • Once the G-Spot feels swollen, continue your favorite stimulation.
  • Increase the speed and intensity in a way that suits you body.
  • Increase your arousal and continue toward orgasm.
  • It might feel like you are about to pee, or peeing — you are not. This might be a new sensation for you. Experiment. Let it all go!

* At this point you might want to be aware if you are concerned about being messy, looking stupid or some other blocker to ejaculation. The key to female ejaculation is to “let go” and allow your body to express pleasure. If you are blocking in any way, it will be very difficult to ejaculate.

STEP 4: WHAT IF NOTHING HAPPENS

  • When G-Spot stimulation is not your thing. If you are not reaching orgasm with G-Spot stimulation, switch to your preferred method of stimulation — whichever method you rely on to reach orgasm. If you use your hands on or near the clitoris your fingers will be in perfect position to feel for extra liquid that may eke out of the urethra. Pay attention. You may be ejaculating without any obvious spurt.
  • If you find you are not ejaculating with any stimulation. Take the pressure off and try it again when you are in the mood. This is not a race. You are only trying new ways to experience pleasure and orgasm. If it is not working for you, don’t get discouraged. Pat yourself on the back for trying something new.

* Remember: It is possible to ejaculate without an orgasm.

GiGi by Lelo G-Spot Vibrator

TOOLS FOR FEMALE EJACULATION

We recommend a firm, yet flexible g-spot vibrator or dildo for stimulating ejaculation.

Some good tried-and-true options are Siren Silicone Dildo or Gigi Vibrator by Lelo  (at our trusted partner, Good Vibrations).

 

Find more of the best toys for female ejaculation

 

STEP 5: AFTER EJACULATION

After you experience ejaculation it is the perfect time to get even more familiar with the sensations so you can use this information going forward.

Analyze your ejaculate. Feel the consistency, smell its aroma. Remember that smell. It will help you distinguish the difference between urine and ejaculate, and know whether you are gushing or ejaculating.

The sensation of ejaculation can bring on emotions. The pelvic nerve is the main nerve that controls female ejaculation. This nerve can stimulate emotions. If you start feeling something come up, let it come. It is a wonderful opportunity to get to know yourself a bit better. Female ejaculation is truly “letting go” into the experience of your body and pleasure.

What female ejaculation feels like.  Read real women’s experiences of female ejaculation