Written by Dr. Petra Zebroff, Relationship and Sex Therapist
Clitoral orgasm is most often a result of stimulating the clitoris directly through masturbation with a hand or vibrator, and/or oral sex (cunnilingus) with a partner.
What a clitoral orgasm feels like to a woman. Read real accounts of women having orgasms.
Anatomy & Physiology of the Clitoral Orgasm
The clitoris packs a punch when it comes to orgasm, and is often the seat of a woman’s pleasure.
An orgasm from clitoral stimulation can feel quite different from an orgasm that occurs as a result of vaginal stimulation, even though the two are quite interrelated.
The clitoris is much larger than we can see with the eye. It reaches inside with two arms called crura that run inside the pelvis making it likely that whether you are having vaginal or clitoral stimulation, your clitoris will be, at the very least “indirectly”, stimulated.
Setting the scene: Preparation
Time and Space
Orgasm takes focus. It is essential that you not be distracted. Clear a time and space that will allow you to relax without being interrupted.
Know the best type of stimulation for you
Increasing arousal is crucial to orgasm.
In order to do that, know what turns your sexual crank. It is helpful to know your Sexual Arousal Type. If you are aroused by erotic sensations, have a sensual bath. If you are aroused by a partner’s desire, explicit sex or thoughts of being ravaged, put your imagination to work! Get a sense of what works for you and leverage it. What is your Sexual Arousal Type?
Dedication to pleasure
Pleasure is the goal, not orgasm. Because the ability to reach orgasm happens mostly in the mind, it is difficult to reach orgasm if you are feeling too much pressure or feeling guilt or shame about sex. Having an orgasm requires “letting go” into the pleasure. If you are worried about what your mother might think or what a priest said about shame, then an orgasm may be difficult to achieve. You need to give yourself permission to have sexual pleasure.
Enough (Proper) Stimulation
The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the body (with more nerve endings than any other part of the body), and the amount of sensation that is considered ideal can vary widely from woman to woman. Some women like indirect soft, gentle caresses, while others like the direct, firm approach. The key is to experiment with different sensations until you find what works for you. Remember, there is no “right” way to do it. Anatomy of the Clitoris
Get into the right head space. Be in an excited, positive mood. If you are too tired or frustrated you may just fall asleep or not achieve orgasm.
Get in a comfy position. Position yourself in any place you find most comfortable where you have easy access to your clitoris. Here are some suggestions:
- On your back. Ideal for those who want to fantasize.
- Sit up with your backed propped up. Sit up leaning against a pillow or couch. Ideal for those who like to watch what they are doing or watch porn.
- Lie on your stomach. Use the pressure of your body to leverage against your clitoris when you need more strength.
Get the Right Tools
With flowing water: A popular way to get a clitoral orgasm is with flowing water. Sit in the bathtub and allow the water to flow over your clitoris. Adjust the temperature and pressure to suit your arousal.
Get the Motion
1. Explore your glorious vulva: Take time to move your hand, vibrator or water around different parts of your vulva. The goal is to find what feels good to you.
2. Move toward the Clitoris:
- Start out with gentle circular motions around the clitoris.
- Use direct or indirect pressure. For some women the intensity of sensation is too great when the clitoris is touched directly. If this is you, use pressure on the labia, mons, or panty or sheet fabric to reach the clitoris without touching it directly. Learn more about the Anatomy of the Vagina
3. Experiment with different types of touch:
- Pressure: try the range from firm to gentle
- Type: Try a whole hand, or finger tips or vibrator
- Moisture: Try wet or dry. A good lubricant or massage oil will help you out here.
- Motion: Try moving up and down, circular or in a horseshoe
If using a vibrator, start out with a brief touch on your clitoris at the lowest setting to get a sense of how your vibrator works with your body.
4. Build up your movements. Do what feels right, moving faster and harder as your arousal builds. You may notice that you become less sensitive as your arousal reaches higher levels allowing you to increase pressure and strength.
5. Rock your pelvis: One of the most successful techniques to building sexual energy comes from movement of the pelvis. Lie on your back, with knees bent. Rock your pelvis back and forth, breathing in as you point your pelvis down and out when you pull your pelvis in.
- Repeat 3 -5 times until you feel the warmth building in your genitals.
- This technique brings blood and oxygen into the clitoris building for orgasm.
6. Cunnilingus: Oral sex on a woman is one of the best ways to incorporate your partner into your clitoral orgasm.
Orgasms don’t happen by physical stimulation alone. In fact, the majority of the orgasm experience occurs in the mind. If you are blocked by stress, expectation, negative sexual messages, guilt, fear or boredom, you could be blocking your orgasm potential.
Use fantasy and mental images. Know what you like and use it to build your arousal to a point where you can reach orgasm. How to Have a Fanatsy Driven Orgasm
Toys to bring you to orgasm with clitoral stimulation
Many toys are designed precisely for orgasms from the clitoris. Choose the type that works for you.
1. Hitachi Magic Wand: The queen of vibrators. Recommended by sexologists all over the world to be the most reliable source for women’s clitoral orgasms.
2. Vibrating Panty: Great for when you are out in public, or don’t want to hold onto anything between your legs. Slip these on and you, or let your partner (fun!) control the vibrations with the remote control!
Getting Clitoral stimulation WITH intercourse
You don’t have to give up the clitoral orgasm when you are having intercourse. You can always stimulate yourself while a penis is thrust into you, or strap on wearable vibrator to go hands-free! Read more here.