by Dr. Petra Zebroff, Relationship and Sex Therapist
“Women are pleasure oriented not goal oriented” ~ Beverly Whipple, sex researcher of The G-Spot.
The vaginal orgasm is here! Not just one sensation — it is a symphony of pleasure that arrives from stimulating the vagina.
Described as a “deep and whole-body” sensation, the definition of a vaginal orgasm is an orgasm that originates from vaginal penetration alone (without external clitoral stimulation).
Compared to the easily attainable clitoral orgasm, only 30% of women report that they regularly have a vaginal orgasm without clitoral stimulation.
But the vaginal orgasm is having a bit of comeback of late. As we learn more about the richness and complexity of the vagina, we realize just how much potential it has to give endless orgasms.
Every woman is wired differently, with more (or less) nerve fibers hooked up to the pleasure zones — clitoris, G-Spot or cervix. The main key to having a vaginal orgasm is knowing and understanding how you are wired to get vaginal pleasure.
Anatomy & Physiology of Vaginal Orgasms
Because women almost never get to see their own vagina, how it looks or works remains a mystery to many. First of all, the vagina is a potential space, rather than a hole. It is made up of mucosal tissue that seeps lubrication when aroused (analogous to the erection of the penis).
Researchers used to think that the vaginal tissue was not sensitive to touch, but now it has been found to be richly innervated with nerve fibers in three distinct ‘pleasure zones’ — each one resulting in a distinctly different type of pleasure and orgasm.
1. Lower Vagina (Entrance): The vulva and entrance to the vagina is rich with nerve fibers that work in tandem with the clitoris. Thrusting inside the vagina will automatically stimulate the clitoral structures.
2. Anterior wall of the vagina (where the G-Spot is found): Inside the vagina, on the anterior wall (tummy side) is an area rich with nerve fibers. Pressing firmly on this wall will also stimulate the ‘internal’ clitoris and urethra behind this wall. This area is known as the G-spot. To learn about G-Spot Orgasms, click here
3. Upper Vagina (Cervix and Cul-de-sac): At the furthest point of the vagina is the vaginal cul-de-sac and cervix. Stimulating these areas activates completely different nerves from stimulation of the clitoris, and causes that deep, whole-body sensation of orgasm.
Remember, there is no “right” spot in the vagina. It is all what feels best to you. Play with all of the areas to see what works for you. Pleasure is the goal.
Learn what it feels like to have a vaginal orgasm. Real women describe what it feels like to have an orgasm.
To learn more about the Anatomy of the Vagina
Setting the scene: Preparation
Time and Space
Orgasm takes focus. It is essential that you not be distracted. Clear a time and space that will allow you to relax without being interrupted.
Go Solo to Start
Masturbation is the easiest way to reach orgasm. This is because you are not distracted by another person. You are able to go focus on what you like and won’t get bored or cranky with repetition.
Get sufficiently aroused
Increasing arousal to a high enough point is crucial to orgasm. This is especially true for vaginal orgasms. Don’t push yourself to reach orgasm. The goal is pleasure. Relax into the pleasure and the orgasm will eventually come.
Dedication to pleasure
Pleasure is the goal, not orgasm. The ability to reach orgasm happens mostly in the mind. It is difficult to reach orgasm if you are feeling pressure (to have an orgasm), guilt or shame about sex. Having an orgasm requires “letting go” into the pleasure. If you are worried about what your mother might think or what a priest said about shame, then an orgasm may be difficult to achieve. You need to give yourself permission to have sexual pleasure.
Enough (Proper) Stimulation
Explore all ‘sensitive areas’ of the vagina.The vagina has three distinct regions that all feel different — the opening, the G-Spot and the end near the cervix. Explore all areas and enjoy each for their own benefit. Penetration (with a penis or dildo) can stimulate all of them, depending on the size and position.
Get into the right head space.
Be in an excited, positive mood. If you are too tired or frustrated you may just fall asleep or simply not achieve orgasm.
Get in the right position for you.
Find a comfortable spot where you have easy access to your vagina.
Sitting up with your backed propped up by pillows is ideal to give control and thrusting power.
Get the Right Tools
Start off with this handy tool. It allows you to explore areas more quickly and naturally than any other tool. The finger can be directed to one specific spot (e.g. your G-Spot), but is often not thick or long enough to reach the cervix or stretch the walls of the vagina as effectively as a dildo or penis.
The dildo is one way to explore your vagina’s sensitive spots without putting pressure on your partner to get an erection.
It is important to find a dildo that has enough length to reach the cervix and be thick enough to put pressure on the vaginal walls. This will vary with each woman. A slight curve would be helpful to focus stimulation in particular areas directly.
We recommend: Siren which is a slightly curved dildo that is top-rated (winner of AVN’s 2012 “Outstanding Non-powered Sex Toy).
The goal for many women when they think of vaginal orgasms is the penis. Penis size and position will make a difference to vaginal orgasms. To learn more about Male Sexual Anatomy, click here
Get the Motion
Each zone has its own virtues, and some positions will encourage one zone over others. Through fun experimentation, you’ll learn which you like best.
1. Explore the different areas
Explore your vaginal opening (Lower): Take time to spread your vulva with your fingers, a dildo or your partner’s penis. Use lots of lubricant and move your tool of choice around the opening.
Move in slightly further (G-Spot): Now, move about 1 ½ inches inside your vagina, and press the dildo or penis against the anterior side of the vagina (tummy side of your body).
Move deeply inside (Upper): As you move the dildo or penis all the way inside, you will be stimulating the sensitive cul-de-sac of the vagina and cervix.
2. Thrust in and out
Thrusting allows you to stimulate all of these pleasure zones at the same time.When the penis or dildo thrusts inside, it must open up the outer lips of the vagina first (where many of the delicious nerve endings are located), then move past the sensitive G-spot and stretch the back around the cervix. Moving out and then back in gives all of these areas a good workout!
3. Try different angles and pressure
Some areas of the vagina need more pressure than the others. Most “touch” nerve ending are located in the anterior side of our vagina (front of the body) and mostly on the one third closest to the opening. Play with different levels of pressure and focus to fully identify the different sensations of pleasure. You may need to put more pressure on the back side or deeper inside the vagina.
Toys to Reach Vaginal Orgasm
Long Dildo: Length is required for vaginal orgasm that originates in the cervix. We recommend: Maven Long Dildo (at 7 3/4 inches by 1 5/8″)
G-spot Dildo: Focus on the targeted areas of the vagina that you find the most pleasurable with a firm, curved dildo. We recommend: Lelo’s Gigi
Thick Dildo: Girth will force the lips wide open in the first section of the vagina, and stretch the walls along the way down the vagina including the anterior vaginal wall. We recommend: Buck Realistic Dildo (6″ x 2″) who is thick and short.
Lubricant: Always remember to include a lovely thick, high quality, water-based lubricant that can last for many thrusts.
Orgasms don’t happen by physical stimulation alone. In fact, the majority of the orgasm experience occurs in the mind. If you’re not sure what turns on your mind, it’s very helpful to know your Arousal Type. Once you understand what turns you on, getting yourself into the right mental state will become easy. To discover your Arousal Type, click here
If you are blocked by stress, expectation, negative sexual messages, guilt, fear, or boredom, you could be blocking your orgasmic potential.
Use fantasy and mental images to help put yourself in the right frame of mind. Know what images turn you on, and use this to build your arousal to a point where you can reach orgasm.
Tip: Talk dirty to bring your own sexual ideas and fantasies to your partner. Or listen to his dirty talk to give you more ideas on what you would like to do more. Read more about tips to talk dirty for better orgasm