Why do it?
- It takes the pressure off both parties.
- It allows the giver to enjoy the experience without pressure to make the partner orgasm.
- It allows the receiver to enjoy the experience without pressure to have an orgasm.
- It allows both parties relax into the experience.
- It allows you to focus on one thing and not be distracted by doing too much at once.
- It makes the experience more real, genuine and fun.
- It changes the pace of how you give oral sex. Knowing that they will be there for awhile, the “giver” is likely to start slower, building to
- The goal is NOT orgasm. The goal is to enjoy 30 min of sexual play without any sort of goal to orgasm. The goal is what makes both people’s expectations change. Agree before that you will not be “trying” to orgasm. If orgasm does occur, don’t beat yourself up, just keep going with lighter sensation. If it becomes too sensitive for the orgasmee then change the stimulation to gently cup the genitals in your hand (or mouth), to stay connected without much stimulation.
- Don’t rush into it. Pace yourself. You are going to be there for awhile, so get comfy and throw yourself into the experience.
- Set the stage. Make sure you are prepared with whatever you need to feel good about the experience. Do you like adding so you have some aids to help you along. Jaws and tongues get sore, so go at a pace that works for both of you. Some suggestions challenge takers are agreeing on is to start with light kisses, using the breath.
- Be in the moment. Take a lesson from mindfulness to appreciate the aspects that you would normally skip over with oral sex. Some things to absorb your mind in during:
- Appreciate the texture of your partner’s skin against your fingers. How does that change against your tongue.
- Notice how the different parts change with arousal.
- How does natural lube (from vagina or precum from the penis) change things for you, or your partner?
- Notice how your partner responds to different types of touch? Do they flinch away from you? Do they grind into you?
- Notice how different types of touch feel for you?