To orgasm is a wild and wonderful pleasure and motivator to be sexual. But many of us think of orgasm in one way. Orgasm can come in a variety of forms, each one resulting from different types of stimulation and lighting up different part of the brain (MRI research).
First of all, it can be one of most pleasurable experiences of all, but it has other good points too, it is a tension release, it is good for your health, it can be a spiritual experience and it can be done on your own or with a partner. It is truly one of the highlights of the human experience.
With all of these amazing benefits, why do so many people have trouble getting there?
Even though we think we are past it — with sex so fully in the media and 50 Shades of Gray lining the book stores– sexual pleasure is still shrouded in shame. And we still often have difficulty talking about sex with our partner, especially telling them what we like and don’t like. Shame, worry, stress and anxiety can make it difficult to reach orgasm.
Tips on how to have an orgasm?
Orgasm is a reflex, with enough arousal, the orgasm will just come. The key is getting, and building, enough arousal
There is no greater help to orgasm than erotic attention. Sex researchers have found that your attention needs to be on something erotic for arousal (and orgasm) to occur.
- What are your blocks? Certain negative thoughts, emotions, bad experiences, relationship issues or stresses can get in the way and “block” your erotic attention. Knowing what these are and addressing them through talk, meditation, therapy or simple awareness can be away of getting away from their control and allow you to start getting back into the sexual moment again.
- What are your erotic triggers? On the flip side, focusing on what drives your desires can be a powerful attention-grabber. If you know what turns you on, you can use it to bring your focus back onto the erotic whenever you choose.
Dedication to pleasure
Remember pleasure is the goal, not orgasm. The ability to reach orgasm happens mostly in the mind. It is difficult to reach orgasm if you are feeling pressure to orgasm, or guilt or shame about sex. Having an orgasm requires “letting go” into the pleasure. If you are worried about what your mother might think or what a priest said about shame, then an orgasm may be difficult to achieve. You need to give yourself permission to have sexual pleasure.
While not completely impossible, it is difficult to reach orgasm with attention alone. We also need some physical sensation.
Circular patterns with a rhythmic motion are the motion of choice for many people. But you can get this from a variety of sources.
- Hands and fingers:
- Planes, trains and automobiles: Add in a washing machine and you have a party of rhythmic sensation. Buses can give just the right amount of vibration against the clitoris (or so say many women).
The pressure you need to reach orgasm will depend on the sensitivity of your body, your mood and your level of arousal. Since sexual arousal makes sensation less, the more you are aroused the more pressure you will need to get the same effect.
Type of stimulation:
There are many ways of having an orgasm. We often think of the most explosive type of orgasm — clitoral (or penile), and the vaginal. But there are many other ways to reach orgasm. Orgasm from anal stimulation can be quite different from the sensation from deep vaginal (or cervical orgasm), and still different from the sensation of G-Spot and even more different from the orgasm that is experienced with mental thoughts alone (yes, that is possible).
Be open and don’t get stuck on one type of stimulation. There is a world of pleasure out there and you can have the best sex if you can be open to whichever comes your way.
Mixing Mind & Body:
The trick it to get both the mental, physical (and even emotional) balance right. If any are off you could be
More tips to reach orgasm:
1. Talk dirty: Talking dirty can bring out your private sexy mind into the dynamic of your partner. Reach how to reach orgasm by talking dirty.
2. Focus on the sensation: We can too often get caught in our heads during sex, or get distracted. One way to keep erotic focus high is to zone into the sensation. Are your sexy bits feeling warm? As you stroke your labia or clitoris, think about how your warm hand feels against the skin, immerse yourself in the thoughts of the sensation.
Types of Orgasm
How to have an anal orgasm
Having an orgasm through anal stimulation can be a fiesta of pleasure. Not only can blissful sensation come from stimulating the outer anus, which is full of delicious nerve endings, throbbing pleasure can come from deep penetration. The possibilities are endless.
How to have a g-spot orgasm: The mysterious G-Spot is no longer such a mystery. And the orgasms that result from a little massage of the G-Spot can be explosive. The G-Spot is very real and leads many women to a unique and explosive orgasm. The G-Spot Orgasm is an orgasm arising from massaging the G-spot, an area a few inches inside the vagina that is deeply connected to the ‘internal’ clitoris. It has been described as a feeling that is close to the intensity of a clitoral orgasm but involving a feeling of “bearing down”, or an urgency to pee. It is this orgasm that has been linked most often to female ejaculation.
The clitoral orgasm is the first and foremost orgasm for women. It the orgasm considered to be the most pleasurable and intense by most women. Clitoral orgasm occurs most often as a result of stimulating the clitoris through masturbation and oral sex (cunnilingus).
Intense, pleasurable and delightfully messy … female ejaculation has been documented as far back as 300 BC. Most who ejaculate freely swear by it, describing it with enthusiasm as a feeling of “letting go”, “liberating” and “intensely pleasurable”.
The vaginal orgasm is here! Not just one sensation — it is a symphony of pleasure that arrives from stimulating the vagina. Described as a “deep and whole-body” sensation, the definition of a vaginal orgasm is an orgasm that originates from vaginal penetration alone (without external clitoral stimulation). The vaginal orgasm is experiencing a bit of a comeback of late. As we learn more about the richness and complexity of the vagina, we realize just how much potential it has to give endless orgasms.
“Deep, throbbing, connecting, and delicious”. These are the words that have been used to describe a cervical orgasm.
Orgasms from fantasy alone, without touching the genitals? If you are like most, orgasm through fantasy seems surreal, or even impossible. But recent studies have shown that that men and women can reach orgasm with their brains alone.
So, how does one achieve such intense bliss? Two things really have to be going at the same time – deep vaginal penetration that stimulates the entire vagina, including the cervix and vaginal walls (even the G-Spot), as well as external clitoral stimulation.