by Dr. Petra Zebroff, Relationship and Sex Therapist
Can’t make up your mind which type of orgasm to have? Have more than one! There is nothing like a dual orgasm, combining the localized intensity of the clitoral orgasm with the overall, body strength of the vaginal orgasm. So, how does one achieve such intense bliss? Two things really have to be going at the same time – deep vaginal penetration that stimulates the entire vagina including the cervix and vaginal walls (even the G-Spot), as well as external clitoral stimulation.
To learn more about Female Sexual Anatomy, click here
Setting the Scene: Preparation
Time and Space
First of all, be sure you have the time, with no distractions. Reaching orgasm with a partner can take time. Don’t let yourself feel rushed, or you may never see stars.
Have the Tools Close By
Have lots of lovely lubricant handy. There is no greater turn off than painful dry friction. Use the tool you normally rely on – your hand or a clitoral vibrator – for clitoral stimulation and orgasm. Use your hand if that normally works for your clitoris, and/or have you favourite vibrator handy if your hand gets tired or if vibrator stimulation normally leads to more efficient clitoral orgasms. Find a penis-shaped dildo or vibrator that is slightly longer and girthier than normal.
Find a position that is comfortable and where you can access both the clitoris and vagina easily. Try sitting back in a comfortable chair or bed with your back propped up by pillows.Smart Girls’ Tip:
Have a mirror available – it’s always easier to drive when you can see where you’re going.
With a Partner
Talk to your partner about your desires. Don’t keep them a secret. Get comfortable with the idea of talking about achieving dual orgasm – you’ll both benefit!
Start with the clitoris: Massage the clitoris with a hand or vibrator to increase your arousal. Start with a gentle circular motion, increasing pressure and speed to suit your mood.
Introduce vaginal stimulation: When you are sufficiently aroused, move the head of the dildo inside the opening of the vagina. Slowly push it all of the way inside to the back of the vagina.
Keep both going: The trick to dual orgasm is being able to relax while you keep both internal and external stimuli moving.
With a Partner
Having free hands is the key with certain positions more so than others.
The best positions for clitoral/vaginal stimulation include:
- Woman on top straddling her partner: Both lovers have access to the clitoris with their hands and can see the clitoris as she controls penile penetration.
- Doggie Style: Both lovers have easy access to the clitoris, with deep penile penetration. She can focus on her clitoris while he trusts deeply inside. Or he can wrap a hand around her to massage the clitoris while penetrating her at the same time.
- Woman lying on her stomach with her pelvis propped up on a pillow: This position is best for women who are used to having their clitoral orgasms on their stomachs. Her partner can either penetrate her from behind (watch how much pressure you put onto her body) or with a dildo while she stimulates her clitoris with her hands or vibrator.
Orgasms don’t happen by physical stimulation alone. In fact, the majority of the orgasm experience occurs in the mind. If you’re not sure what turns on your mind, it’s very helpful to know your Arousal Type. Once you understand what turns you on, getting yourself into the right mental state will become easy.
If you are blocked by stress, expectation, negative sexual messages, guilt, fear, or boredom, you could be blocking your orgasmic potential.
Use fantasy and mental images to help put yourself in the right frame of mind. Know what images turn you on, and use this to build your arousal to a point where you can reach orgasm.
To learn your Arousal Type, click here
Toys to Reach Dual Orgasms
‘Dual vibrators’ have a penis-shaped shaft, with a protrusion that is designed to massage the clitoris and vagina at the same time. The Rabbit Vibrator is arguably the most famous dual vibrator, and is recommended by sexologists all over the world to be the most reliable for dual orgasms. The thrusting style of dual vibrator is an important tool for giving dual orgasms. It thrusts, just like a penis, to stimulate the cervix – a crucial part of vaginal orgasms. And Lelo’s Ina offers pure pleasure and luxury in a dual vibrator – a powerfully beautiful piece.
With a Partner
Designed to stimulate the clitoris during penis / vaginal penetration, these “wearable” couples’ vibrators allow the hands to stay free to do other things, while the focus stays firmly on the pleasure, rather than the work. Lelo’s Pino Vibrating Couples’ Ring is a discreet ring vibrator that fits over the penis and is worn at its base, or at the base of a dildo. As the penis or dildo moves inside the vagina, the vibrator will move against the clitoris. The flexible, C-shaped We-Vibe 4 are also great choices. We-Vibe 4 is the latest version of the We-Vibe, with more power and a great storage/charging case. Just slip one end inside the vagina, and the other will lie directly over your clitoris, vibrating on the clitoris, labia and G-Spot while a penis or dildo can easily move inside. Lots of fun for couples!